The Roast of Thanksgiving

The+Roast+of+Thanksgiving

Chris Thomas, Staff Writer

2020 has been a unique year to say the least, especially in the United States. Despite the unusual challenges that the past ten months have presented, time moves on, and the end of the year is fast approaching.

 

This means that the holiday season is upon us. This season encompasses many holidays worldwide, but in the United States, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are the main attractions. 

 

I’m here to tell you why Thanksgiving is the worst of the ‘big three.’ Before I explain myself, it should be known that I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my family. I am not against the holiday, but it clearly cannot hold its own against the other members of the big three.

 

I think holidays can best be evaluated in 4 categories: music, movies, festivities and food.

 

From a musical standpoint, Thanksgiving is in way over its head. In fact, you would be hard pressed to find a single person who can name a Thanksgiving song off the top of their head. On the other hand, Halloween has countless hits. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and “The Monster Mash” round out the top of a long list of scary staples. However, Christmas can go blow for blow with Halloween with classics like “All I want for Christmas is You”, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, “It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas” and more. Interestingly enough, it is almost taboo to listen to Christmas music outside of the holiday season. The fact that people believe Christmas music should only be listened to during the season, shows the reverence people have for this legendary music.

 

It should go without saying that Christmas has the best movies of the big three. “Home Alone”, “Elf”, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, and, again, many more classics elevate Christmas above its two counterparts. It is almost disrespectful to list so few movies, but this article would be too long if I were to give credit to all of the Christmas masterpieces that have been created. Surprisingly, Halloween is in a not so distant second place. Obviously, the franchise named after the holiday itself is immensely popular. Michael Meyers has featured in 11 movies in the “Halloween series. Conversely, Thanksgiving is the exact opposite of box office. People were not exactly clamoring to theaters to see “A Family Thanksgiving” and I doubt most people remember that “The Blind Side” even has a Thanksgiving scene. “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” may be the best movie representation that the holiday has to offer, and even that is outshined by the Charlie Brown Halloween and Christmas specials.

 

Festivities are the main reason Thanksgiving is the worst end of year holiday. Halloween, despite some popular misconceptions, appeals to many people. Young children can dress up and go trick or treating, adolescents can throw costume parties and adults can decorate their homes for trick or treaters coming through their neighborhood. Christmas brings everyone together to exchange gifts, watch the best NBA teams face-off and enjoy the ornate decorations. Thanksgiving traditions consist of political debates, watching hit-or-miss NFL games and people falling asleep, which can be pretty annoying for the host.

 

Food is the most highly contested category, but it is where Thanksgiving fares best against its competition. Halloween has to come in last place. Don’t get me wrong; I love candy, but candy cannot compare to an actual dinner. I’m still not sure Halloween should qualify for the food category. In terms of food, Thanksgiving and Christmas are more similar than people like to think, but the difference comes down to tradition. Thanksgiving is defined by turkey, stuffing, mac and cheese, corn and more of the like. You could have all those things on Christmas as well, but it is not a guarantee. Christmas dinner might look totally different from one year to the next, while Thanksgiving has a template to follow, and for that reason, it takes the cake.  

 

In the grand scheme of things, Thanksgiving is great. Families come together to eat dinner, make memories, and most importantly, remember what they are thankful for. Unfortunately, this great holiday is sandwiched between the two best holidays of the year. Retail stores and advertisers barely recognize Thanksgiving as an official holiday, seeing how many of them transition from Halloween decorations to Christmas décor without ever offering up a turkey or a cornucopia. In a perfect world, Thanksgiving takes place in the weeks following Christmas, but New Year’s Eve does not give the holiday much calendar space to work with. When President Theodore Roosevelt declared that Thanksgiving would occur in the second to last Thursday of November, he unknowingly condemned the holiday to relative mediocrity. In short, Thanksgiving is a victim of wrong place, wrong time.